I love going to parties, and I enjoy going home afterwards. I look forward to the times I can go out and eating by myself, have and will go to a movie alone, and my greatest joy remains going off into my bedroom/study with a pile of magazines, books, pen and paper and my iphone for easy access to the internet to play scrabble. Solitude and its many joys is something I have cultivated for several decades.
When I was growing up, I didn't really like socializing much partly because I wasn't any good at it. My awkwardness was so visible it could have been a second entity standing beside me. It could be a lonely existence and I often (as do others) mistake loneliness and solitude. I managed to unload the awkward monster and feel comfortable in any setting. I enjoy socializing, visiting friends and being around people in general. In spite of getting pleasure from such activities, nothing gives me more joy and comfortable than solitude. I think the social awkwardness started to fall away when I realized I wasn't such bad company. I could entertain and challenge myself during my private journeys in deep thought, journal writing and even meditation. There are always new discoveries, some geek toy to check out, and something new that I am writing and the subsequent exploration draws out my innate curiousity. I do tend to see new things that same fresh way a child does.
Over the years I have become friends with myself. When my heart feels broken or I become very anxious over a problem, I feel another part of me - the intellectual side - coming to the rescue, offering reassurance that I will heal or find the answer I need. This ability has developed through the time I spend in solitude. It has been an amazing and unexpected gift just through the act of being myself and doing what makes me happy.
When I was growing up, I didn't really like socializing much partly because I wasn't any good at it. My awkwardness was so visible it could have been a second entity standing beside me. It could be a lonely existence and I often (as do others) mistake loneliness and solitude. I managed to unload the awkward monster and feel comfortable in any setting. I enjoy socializing, visiting friends and being around people in general. In spite of getting pleasure from such activities, nothing gives me more joy and comfortable than solitude. I think the social awkwardness started to fall away when I realized I wasn't such bad company. I could entertain and challenge myself during my private journeys in deep thought, journal writing and even meditation. There are always new discoveries, some geek toy to check out, and something new that I am writing and the subsequent exploration draws out my innate curiousity. I do tend to see new things that same fresh way a child does.
Over the years I have become friends with myself. When my heart feels broken or I become very anxious over a problem, I feel another part of me - the intellectual side - coming to the rescue, offering reassurance that I will heal or find the answer I need. This ability has developed through the time I spend in solitude. It has been an amazing and unexpected gift just through the act of being myself and doing what makes me happy.
2 comments:
I have yet to master loving solitude for lengthy periods.
I often need it, and find it when necessary, but, for the most part, I prefer to have the company of folks I love being around.
In regards to your cultivating an appreciation for solitude, I admire that in a way that makes me consider, of people like, you, "How do they DO that?"
However, failures aside, your explanation of your intellectual side intervening on the behalf of your emotional side, inspires me to continue working at it.
And, perhaps someday, I'll be as satisfied in periods of solitude as I am in the company of friends.
It's a good goal. :)
I think whatever feels right to us we should just do! Follow our instincts! No need to be alone much if we don't enjoy it, and no need to be around people all the time either if we don't care for that. Some of us are just naturally introverts, and others extroverts. I'm kind of an ex extrovert, and now into introversion. Now see, I just amused myself playing with words, and quite enjoyed it! By the way,this is the person also known as Coraline!
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