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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Dad's birthday

Mom, Dad and me 1958

My father would have been 79 years old today.

Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer over the President's Day Weekend, 1999 and given six months to live. By his birthday on March 21st of that year, he had gotten very weak but was able to still take care of himself. We had a little party for him and he enjoyed it (which was funny since he didn't like parties usually).

He died on May 18, 1999.

The first birthday without Dad was hard. He loved getting cards and little gifts and, of course, I couldn't send him anything - at least not without a lot of postage attached.

We had a bond that makes his loss even harder: a love and understanding of the abstract elements of life, writing, philosophy and funny things.

When I think of my father and look at photos of him when I was a baby, I think of how much he looked like Steve Allen, one of his favorite performers. I look like such a cranky baby, didn't I? I miss him still but there are plenty of good memories to hang on to in those sadder moments. I can still smile and I know that would make him very happy.

I can't even write Happy Birthday, Dad here because I know he didn't like computers and, knowing him, probably isn't online in Heaven either.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Hi Nancy,

I can so relate to this post. My dad died 2 days after I got married. So I understand of what you speak when you speak of how difficult the first birthday was without him.

Firsts are hard. Instead of one I had two this year as you well know. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

Love ya,