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Friday, August 18, 2006

Fuck Buddies

There must be a more genteel way of putting it but I don't know what it is. Sexual friends? I don't know.

It was about 15 years ago when I first heard the term and it was expressed by a friend of mine who was not in any relationship. She and a male friend of hers - would frequently have sex together when they were not in any romantic relationship. They didn't see the other as someone they would marry or want to live with for the rest of their lives but they were good friends and would share sexual enjoyment. I wasn't sure how I felt about such a casual view towards sex but after awhile, the idea grew on me.

I thought, why not? Supposedly you love your good friends? You care for them. If being together that way works for you and you are satisfied with the arrangement, I don't see it as being wrong.

I think it's nuts for a woman to sleep with a guy she doesn't know longer than a few hours. It's all about putting yourself in a very vunerable position - how much more vunerable are you than naked and alone with a stranger? Why not just put a sign on your forehead and say "Just beat me up and do things when I tell you not to" and be done with it.

This "fuck buddy" set up is genuis. There are potential pitfalls, granted, but it is an answer to a problem many single women face when they are not in a romantic relationship but want to have sex with someone they trust and care about.

A few days ago, an acquitaince of mine emailed me to say she was pregnant. She is in her forties and has wanted a child for a long time. Problem is she never met any guy who wanted children. So she gave up on looking for one. A male friend of hers impregnated her. Deliberately. No, they have no plans on getting married but the male friend was fine with the idea of getting his friend pregnate. I don't know how I feel about this either but if it all works out and there isn't any custody issues down the road, I guess I can't see any harm in it either. I can understand her wanting a child of her own before she can't conceive anymore.

I understand that position very well.

I just have to wonder about the other potential emotional issues that might creep into play unexpectedly but I can tell you that the initial concept of having a male friend you can also have sex with has been a real life saver (if that is the term) for many single gals (including myself).


John P said...

I think that's what they called it when I was in college. More recently I've heard it called "friends with benefits."

Frankly, I think it's great. Why should anyone put themselves at risk now days?

Bruce said...

I've heard the term "fuck friends", and it us used by a lot of teenagers! As for getting preggo with a friend's sperm, if I were the guy, I would just have to wonder if one day I wouldn't be tempted to claim my right as the father. Risky business.