Saturday, May 31, 2008

Getting a Leg Up

My best friend and house-mate Kay was in a terrible car accident back in June 2007 in which she was nearly killed. She sustained injuries requiring long-term treatment and one injury is permanent. Her attorney has made a demand to the insurance company for a substantial amount of money for her medical bills and pain and suffering compensation. I don't wish to share that amount here but I can tell you this: it affords her (and thus me since we share household expenses) the means to live a life where she will have enough money put side not only to ensure every bill gets paid on time and alsoItalic funds set aside for those little emergencies and unexpected expenses that seem to dog us whenever we do not have extra money aside. When the money will be set side, those things won't happen to us anymore. I'll bet the farm on it.

It means being able to pay back the $10,000 in personal loans accrued the past three years. We have been lucky there because for the most part, those kind souls have been very patient with the fact that our circumstances constantly changed. Whenever we thought things were going to get better, the circumstances changed and we could not keep the promises we made. That's pretty humiliating and inconvenient for the folks to whom you made the promises.

I love watching Judge Judy and usually agree with her decisions. I see people being sued for unpaid loans, usually pay relatives or close friends. I've loaned money to people and never got it back. Usually the reason was either the person died or their circumstances were such repayment wasn't going to happen and that was obvious to me. I never thought less of someone because they didn't pay me back because my assumption is that they were unable to even though they believed they could. Is that naive? Maybe but I am not going to poison an otherwise good relationship over money. That's not worth complicating or ending a relationship over. It mystifies me when I watch these court shows to see close family members or friends of over a decade suing over money. I don't understand it. Before the last even years of bad luck happened to me, I knew what it was to have extra money and give it/loan it to people and changing, deteriorating circumstances made it difficult or impossible for them to repay it. I forgave the loan or just said "whenever you can." I've usually gotten the money back eventually. Still, even if I did not, I was not about to pursue it even if I needed the money. Call me naive or stupid but that's how I am about such things.

And I hope I never value money over a relationship. It will be nice to repay the personal loans and pay extra to those kind folks as a "thank you." I will feel good about it as it nice to be able to stand on your own two feet. I do have some pride.:P

I wish I could look forward to things without fearing something is going to change and it won't happen. If the money comes in time, Kay wanted to go to California for a few days (attend an event out there and see some sights) and then on to DisneyWorld in Florida. Sounds good but I am afraid to look forward to it. I'm afraid to look forward to my own birthday now. It seems the rug is pulled out from under me when I least expect it.

I am praying that I can once again look forward and feel secure about day to day things.

1 comment:

Heather H. said...

I'm always expecting the other shoe to drop too...need a hug? xo