Funny and clever . . .

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dope-ler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.




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Delaware Seashore Surprises, Indeed.

CNN online is running a feature about one of Delaware's pride and joys: Lewes. See below.

ttp://www.cnn.com/2008/TRAVEL/getaways/06/24/delaware.shore/index.html

When I moved from Delaware to New York City in 1986, I quickly learned that for all the glories the Big Apples held for me, one key thing was missing: a decent beach. Oh sure, there are very clean and lovely beaches such as Jones Beach and the Hampton Beaches are fine too; however, none of them hold a candle to what Delaware beaches offer in conjunction with the nearby beaches of South Jersey and Ocean City, Maryland.

I've had friends travel to the Carolinas and luxuriate on the Barren Island and Hilton Head. I've been there too. It's much cheaper to rent a house or some other property there for a week on the beach than it is here in Delaware or even South Jersey. I might do that once or twice but nothing beats a Kersey Beach Day starting in my native Delaware.

My routine starts off the same as many others on a Saturday morning: pack up and stop off at Wawa where everyone else in Delaware stops before going down to the shore via Route 1, Routes 13 or 113 or the back road Route 9.

What the hell is a Wawa you ask?


Wawa is an institution, a franchise found all over my state, Maryland, Jersey and parts of Pennsylvania, is a bright, sparkling, inviting convenience store where you can get cups of ice, cheap ice buckets and containers, basic groceries, ice cold drinks, iced coffee, delicious coffees of all kinds, candy and very good sandwiches made while you watch. However, negotiating the parking lot at a Wawa in Delaware on a Saturday morning will see you perform some of the most skillful driving you'll ever do in a parking lot. Everyone descends on this store on Saturday mornings. Those who have places down at the beach descend on Friday afternoon and Friday night before making the hour trek downstate to the many beaches, including my favorite Cape Henlopen located just outside of Lewes. Lewes has a shore side where you can enjoy the bay without the waves. Henlopen's beach is the Atlantic Ocean and also has a roomy bath house to wash up and change after being in the salty water and sandy beach. They have a nice little store for hot dogs, water ice, hamburgers and drinks. It's very good junk food.

I don't visit Rehoboth Beach that much because the parking situation is miserable. There is a nice boardwalk with some kiddie type rides and lots of fun stores and good junk food, including Grotto's Pizza to eat while looking out at the water. I prefer Cape Henlopen where I pitch my wide umbrella, set up the chairs and run into the water. Yep, I do the raft riding thing on the crashing waves. Sometimes I crash too. Sometimes a wave will hit me so hard my freckles fly off.

After a few hours of that and sitting on the beach, I go shower and change into dry clothes, head to the car and then to the Lewes-Cape May Ferry. The 45 minute crossing to Cape May is very relaxing, the food on the ferry is lousy. Don't plan to eat on this ride. The best part is that you can take your car on the ship.

Once in Cape May, I drive to Wildwood where it is a mile or two of boardwalk. These are great rides. These are not the rides of Six Flags: you are not risking death or injury or illness on the great Water Flume ride. The wood roller coaster is fantastic as are many of the attractions. You will not snap your neck on any of these. Again, this is where you get the best high quality junk food. The elephant ears, custard, water ice, caramel corn, etc. is the best you will have anywhere. If you get to the boardwalk before 6 p.m., you pay about $15.00 to go on all the rides for the rest of the day. After 6 p.m., you have to buy tickets and this can get a little costly - plan to spend about $50 for two adults to go on about six or seven "popular" rides or so. It's worth the money. Day goes into night at the beach (and everywhere else) and it's quite relaxing and beautiful. The shops are great fun too. Many friends who visit me I take there. When I lived in NYC I took people visiting me there down to Wildwood.



I cannot recommend this kind of day enough. I never found anything close to it in New York. The Hamptons are lovely about half a day of Hamptons is enough for me and I certainly don't ever get the hankering to go there. They do not have anything Delaware doesn't have except maybe celebrities and rich people. I don't go to the beach to see celebrities. I have plenty of friends who are rich and know enough so-called celebrities without stepping out the door, not that I would step out the door for such things in the first place.

How Embarrassingly Dumb Some People Are

I'm all for free speech. If you don't like something, you can speak out about it. That doesn't save you from being dumb about your viewpoint.

We are seeing some progress in our society - exciting progress. It appears that we very well may have a black man for president, a woman for vice-president and states are starting to grant the right to marriage for gay couples.

California recently stepped up to the plate and the protestors came out in force, seeking to make it known that a great sin is being committed.

If you don't like blacks, think women incapable of holding a high office or that gays are a sinful lot and should not be allowed any rights in our society, that's fine. You're an idiot, but that's fine. You have the right to be an idiot and make it obvious to the entire world.

But our judicial system doesn't and shouldn't legislate morality since so many of us have a different view of what proper morality is.

I am a Christian and practice my faith the very best that I can. I don't believe homosexuality is a sin. Jesus doesn't mention it in the New Testament. The Old Testament served its purpose in telling about the impending arrival of the Messiah. Jesus did not preach hate. Jesus did not march protesting those he disagreed with; he did not throw stones at them, he did not call them names.

It's nothing short of shameful to witness supposed Christians bellyaching about the "sanctity of marriage" when you do not see these same people pickiting outside the apartments and houses in neighborhoods of those couples who are not married. You do not see them protesting against those who eat shellfish (it says in the Old Testatement you shouldn't do that) and many other things from the same Old Testament verses which speaks out against same sex sexual activity. Why pick one thing to get their knickers in a bind over? Why pick this ONE thing?

If you can find love and happiness with someone of the same sex, good for you. You can have a family if you want. If you find love and happiness with someone of the opposite sex, good for you too. You can have a family if you want. That's basically why most people get married: for legal reasons especially when it comes to having children. Of course some people get married with no intention of having children but the marriage cements certain legal rights and such status as to receive benefits along with your spouse from one or the other's employment.

What possible business is it of anyone's what two people do in their bed? What business is it what they do with each other if it is consensual? How they choose to structure their lives? They are not breaking any laws of the land and in a diverse society, we can't even agree with what is Christian law as some rely heavily on the Old Testament whereas others look to the New Testament for guidance.

These protestors have the right to object but a big part of me want to go and bitchslap them. I am a Christian and I believe there is only one judge in our faith and the protestors ain't it.

The Big 5-0 on June 13th!

My birthday weekend worked out quite well. Pictures to follow in the next post.

In short: spent four days camping at Elk Neck State Park using camping equipment given to me by family members as part of my birthday present. My birthday dinner was at Woody's Crabhouse in North East, Maryland and friends joined me, Kay, my mother and brother for a wonderful seafood feast. The weather was great.

I had a lot of wonderful wishes and gifts come at me from many people and I was touched by them and enjoyed a few unexpected well wishes.

The four days camping along the Elk River was wonderful. Peaceful, rejuvenating.

The Big Day?

One of the most wonderful things to happen in life is to meet a person who is your soul mate and lover, someone you want to spend your life with - even the rest of your life. Readers of this blog know that I have met and been with men who were soul mates for me but I knew I could not live with.

When I got engaged at the age of nineteen, I remember feeling a little hesitant about going from college into marriage even though I was crazy about Mickey. When I started the whole wedding planning process, I quickly became ill in my stomach at the importance friends and strangers put in the whole planning process and the wedding day itself. "It's the big event of your life," I was told by someone I respected.

Instead, I was thinking the big event of my life (up to that point) was the first night Mickey and I spent together and both of us being in love with the other. Exchanging vows in front of other people who mean a lot to us was certainly a charming thing to look forward to, no doubt. Having a big party to celebrate that event had a great deal of appeal for both of us.

But it could not be the big event in my life. The big day, never mind the most important day of my life as it was described by other friends and those strangers who wanted to help me in the wedding process. I felt that I was an alien not understanding the history and custom of the natives around me. I didn't get it. I understand the importance of marriage if you plan on having children or to legalize the relationship and the benefits that follow. Why all the to-do about it eludes me completely.

There is something very sad to me that an event such as a wedding day would be deemed THE important event in one's life. It was never imagined that way in my mind while I was growing up. I watch the TV shows and read articles about wedding days "ruined" because the hired band was awful or didn't show up; the dresses were not the way they should have been or the food wasn't up to snuff.

How could anything such as inadequate food, no music or bad music or botched gowns ruin a day that is supposedly about celebrating the union and love of two people? How can that even matter?

I raised eyebrows when I went to a wedding planner to talk about the basics of planning a wedding. She went through her spiel and then I said: "I am not going to be doing the garter belt thing and I won't be introduced as Mrs. Shultz at the reception. I am Nancy Kersey and I'll consider taking his surname in addition to my own. " Raised eyebrows, eyeballs shifted to look at others in our little circle.

"Oh we have a live one," I'm sure was the thought going around. I didn't care.

The whole business actually left my stomach in turmoil.

Honey, maybe you are not marriage material, I thought to myself.

The War and the Uncle I Never Knew

My mother was the youngest of four children; two girls and two boys. Mom was especially close to her brothers. They were very different in temperment and she enjoyed those differences with them. My uncle Roland was killed in a freak plane accident while on a test mission in the Air Force during his service in the 1950s. The pain of that loss is still very raw for my mother. Roland's plane disappeared over the Chesapeake Bay (blew up) and nothing was found of the plane or Roland in spite of many searches. He was fluent in German, enjoyed sports, shooting targets and ready to dedicate his life to the military if things worked out. Obviously they did not and his death left a gaping hole in our family's history.

In college I took up archery, target shooting and fencing, the latter a particularly favorite sport of my Uncle Roland's. He was more formal than his siblings, a little more reserved and bookish but fun nonetheless according to Mom. I asked her if Roland would have supported the war in Iraq. She didn't take much time to think about it. "No," she replied, "I don't think he would have." There were several reasons, she thought, one of which being the war in Iraq is not addressing the our issues with the more militant members of Islam, the same sect that attacked our country in 2001.

I thought it was interesting to know what the uncle I never knew would have thought.

I got into a conversation with an acquaintance of mine last week who supports the war in Iraq. When I expressed my opposition to the war, he responded stridently, "they are the ones who drew first blood!"

"Not really if you think about what the militants are upset about. Our support of Israel and what they view as the violent oppression of Palestine and Muslims. The list goes on and on. In their mind we are the ones who drew 'first blood.' He had not considered that. Finally he said "so you support the people who attack America?"

Why is it that so many people are incapable of complex thinking? How is opposing the war in Iraq supporting terrorists when the war in Iraq isn't combating terrorism at all? "I hate it when men and women get killed over a pointless endeavor. There is no reason for us to be in Iraq. How is our being there making any difference in terrorism?"

You can have that conversation forever in our society.

I felt a sense of relief to know that the uncle I never knew may well have felt the very same way I do.

Serious as a Heart Attack . . .

My Aunt Olive had yet another heart attack this past week. Now 77, she is averaging one or two heart attacks a year. I went to visit her yesterday and she really looked terrible. Usually, my aunt looks much better in the hospital than she does at home.

How can that be, you may ask.

My Aunt Olive did not get enough oxygen when she was born which greatly affected her brain. The assumption is that she is mentally retarded as a result but there well may be another diagnosis. The family has operated under the retarded diagnosis. She managed to find love, marry and have three children. The two boys are productive, hard-working citizens and the daughter, who still lives with her mother Olive, thinks the world owes her a living. Olive held down jobs throughout her life and tries to stay active in spite of progressing illness. She was outside trying to clean the pavement to her house which was covered with foliage debris and monkey balls when the latest heart attack happened.

Olive's husband worked for General Motors (40 years) and left her with a wonderful health plan. Olive gets all the medication she needs but usually doesn't take the medication or takes it irregularly so that the meds won't really help much.

I worry about her very much. I haven't seen her look so bad before and it breaks my heart. She is on oxygen right now and has been told this will have to continue after she gets home. I feel the end is near for her. I come from a very small family and losses of course make it even smaller.

Please say a prayer for my Aunt Olive.