Friday, December 21, 2012

The Dead People in my Life

A few concerned individuals asked me if I was celebrating Christmas "in the usual way" this year because of the several "close" deaths I have experienced this year.  Sure, there were some significant losses this year.  Two of them I prayed for as their decline was painful for them mentally and physically.  The others were a surprise.  I would not ever think of not celebrating Christmas after any death, however close I was to the decedent.   Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  I think a lot of Jesus.  He is The Man in my book.  I would not do anything else but celebrate this birth as the faith therein is what keeps me grounded and getting lost on those very dark days.

Today I was at a funeral for a friend and co-worker and the pastor reminded us that it was normal to grieve to a certain extent and at some point, we must replace that sadness with joy and celebrate what was and the memories.  That's an important survival tool - celebrate after the initial sadness and move on.

Moving on isn't part of forgetting about a deceased loved on; it's part of respecting their passing.  Living is for the living.  Those who have passed on to the great beyond have left the earth to begin a new life.  That's a life without us being physically a part of but it is, nonetheless, a new life.  It's a new life we wonder about and need to respect.  We need to wish them well and by remembering them we are in constant contact in a new way.  I find this comforting.  I will always have the wonderful memories of friends and family who have died this year and in previous years.  I can still laugh at things they did and said.  I can still feel comforted by their words and actions while alive.  In that sense, no one ever really leaves you.  That's what I hold onto.

2 comments:

Linda Dachtyl said...

Very nice thoughts, Nancy. Thanks for sharing. It's the way I feel, too, about these things.

femmeflashpoint said...

Nancy,

This is a beautiful post, and a needed one.

You've made my eyes misty, in consideration of your comments regarding celebrating Christmas, life, and the life that comes after this one, as well as how we regard those who have walked on without us, in a spiritual sense.

My sister (who is also my business partner, and a faithful follower of Christ) says of death, that in her mind it is only a word that doesn't quite provide a great description, because although there is a ceasing of the physical here, as we know it, there is still a continuance of the life, that we can't see.

What you've written here closely mirrors her description, and since I have an intense dislike of death and the grief that usually comes with it, perhaps God is trying to give me a much better, and blonde-friendly explanation of it, so that I can not fret so often over it.

Thank you.

Very well done!