"I don't know how to explain her" he said

A few days ago I received an email from one of Jonathan's old friends from Yale.  I was gobsmacked he was able to find me, let alone remember me at all this lovely man named Richard whose wife also attended Yale Drama School the same time Jonathan did.

Richard told me something very funny.  When Jonathan had people over to his apartment in New York for a dinner party - people he had not seen in many years - he usually asked me to come as well to be the "hostess."  I also had the facility to seamlessly fit into a group of strangers, a skill I had to learn in my early twenties even though meeting new people made (and continues) to make me initially very nervous.  Richard reaccounted this particular visit because it was the last time he and his wife saw Jonathan.  It was also a lot of fun.  Richard told the story about the head of the Yale Drama School directing a play they were all in and his heavily-accented English made the commend "Focus! Focus!" come out "Fuck-us! Fuck-us!"  This, of course, reduced Richard, Jonathan et al. to puddles they laughed that hard each time the director issued this command.

It was very cool to hear stories of antics on campus and off campus.  Richard and his wife came with two other individuals from those Yale days.  The stories were hilarious.  I sure wish I could remember some of them other than the fact they were very funny.  At one point Richard joined Jonathan in the kitchen and Richard told me the other day when he contacted me that he remembers asking Jonathan how the two of us got together.  Jonathan said to him "I don't know how to explain her."  Eventually, he told Richard that I first came into his life working on the one-man shows, then did personal assistant-type work for him and today, like other times, he just liked having me play the hostess with the most-ess.   This type of scenario played out many times during the course of our relationship over twenty plus years.  When friends came from Canada and he invited me over it was to help him stay organized and entertain.  I became friends with some of those friends and relatives over the years and later when regularly visiting Canada.  The really sweet thing about Jonathan is that he was very proper.  I was half his age and a woman.  That could be construed in a more unflattering light in his opinion.  Of course, anyone who knew either one of us knows it wasn't anything more than just a friendship.  But that age difference and gender made him uncomfortable at times.  He once told me that while touring with ARSENIC AND OLD LACE he felt that his co-star, Gary Sandy, wanted to be friends with him.  But the "problem" was that Gary was so much younger.  I sat there with my mouth agape.  "What does that have to do anything if you like each other?" I said.  He didn't answer, but that was an issue for him even though he would later cultivate friendships with people much younger than himself, much in thes same way his mother did.  She felt it kept her younger in mind and spirit.  He sought the same.

But there were still the awkward times when Jonathan went to meet someone and asked me to go with him, even though the person was a stranger to me.  Truth was, Jonathan was very shy in many respects and the one thing I could do was talk.  And talk I did, to keep the conversation going but know when to stop talking if the two of them got going.  It was common for the individual (friend or acquaintance of Jonathan's) to ask: "So, how did you two meet?"  I was never introduced in any particular way except as a "friend" and that aroused the curiosity of the asker.  I, of course, explained (since Jonathan would just sit there silent) that I was hired to work with him on the one-man shows and we became friends.  I didn't add that I had several friends much older than myself so a friendship with someone older like Jonathan wasn't anything new to me.  But it made Jonathan uncomfortable.  Sometimes if I was somewhere and he was with me he told me to introduce him as my "uncle."  So I did.

While I worked for Jonathan and was studying at a local acting school, sometimes Jonathan would write out a check to pay for my tuition, and give it to me.  At first, he was reluctant with this payment arrangement because he was afraid it would give the impression to whomever received the check that I was a "kept" woman.  That really concerned me though I was pretty sure no one else would think that for a single moment.  I assured him of this.  (I also "paid" him through writing and personal assistant services to give me voice lessons.  I "studied" voice with him for about a year.  In fact, he directed me in a show I did as part of my two year intensive acting program.)

So, keeping me a proper lady did hit snags now and then.  When I went up to Jonathan's place in Canada, I always helped him around the house and with the yard.  I enjoyed this.   We were sitting at the dining room table one afternoon along with our mutual friend, Kay Fry, and Jonathan complained that the web-like cocoons in his trees were going to eventually kill them.  He had some men out to eradicate these cocoons but he had a falling out with the local business and they would not come out anymore. (Falling out with people was commonplace with Jonathan as he had a quick temper.  But usually those relationships mended)  He wondered out loud if there was a way the three of us might be able to get the cocoons out of the trees.  Fifteen minutes later, I was climbing one of the stricken trees, Jonathan was standing at the base of the tree ready to catch me if I fell, and Kay was handing me up various implements to use in order to remove the cocoons.  He chided me at one point for "not having the right kind of shoes on to be in a tree."  As if I knew I was going to be climbing trees that weekend.

Some time later again while visiting Jonathan we were doing something in the front yard and he stopped to look at his water spouts, noting that he had to get them cleaned out as they were cluttered with leaves.  We were standing right by the garage and I said "If you help me with the ladder, I will get up there and clear out the gutter."   He stood there, stunned, looking at me.  "What?" I asked.  "Well, you can't do that," he said.  I asked "Why not?"  "Well, you're a lady . . ."  Only a few months earlier he had no trouble with my climbing up a tree but climbing up a much shorter distance and on a stable ladder he didn't want me to have any part of.  I didn't laugh because I didn't want that sensibility of his made fun of.  He felt strongly about that at that moment so the gutter didn't get cleaned out by me.

No wonder he couldn't explain me to other people.  I was a vacillating entity.

Ghostwriter to the Vampire and Other Stories, Pt. 1

Jonathan posing just before a rehearsal at a New York Public Library in 1986
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(NOTE: This entry is just one of a series on Jonathan Frid)

A review I had written in a Philadelphia theater magazine of Jonathan Frid's then "work in progress" of FOOLS AND FIENDS got into his hands.  He made inquiries as to who I was and within a few months of my write-up of his new theatrical ambitions, I went from one in a large audience in a ballroom to one of a few in Jonathan Frid's apartment.  It was April, 1986. I still lived in Delaware, just south of Philadelphia - a city he knew well - and I was looking to move to New York to pursue work in the theater as an actor and writer.  

Jonathan Frid was looking to hire someone to help him in the writing of original material for his first of what would be three-one man shows, JONATHAN FRID'S FOOLS AND FIENDS.  The original material in question was the narrative that connected the short stories in the reader's theater program he was developing for touring on the college/university circuit and theaters across the country.  It was a lofty ambition, I thought.  Why I thought it was a lofty ambition was not something I felt comfortable in sharing with this man who was interested in opinions on the new material he was presenting at these rehearsals in his apartment.  

Like many of my generation, I grew up watching "Dark Shadows" in the afternoons and I was fascinated, absolutely gobsmacked with the character of Barnabas.  My favorite characters up until this point in 1967 had been Zorro and The Green Hornet.   Barnabas was different.  I couldn't get enough of him or the actor's voice.  I read in magazines how this actor had gone to school and out on the road to study and hone his craft.  I decided that I wanted to be an actor.  I was forever hooked on the beauty of The Spoken Word and the power of the voice.  

Now, almost twenty years later, the skinny, spastic redheaded girl who was mesmerized by Barnabas Collins was sitting in the creator's apartment and Jonathan Frid was a real person indeed, shaking my hand gently and then raising to his lips to kiss it.  I nearly passed out.   A  few apartment rehearsals later, Jonathan invited me to a meeting with his business partner and manager, Mary O'Leary, and young writer and rehearsal organizer, Billy McKinley.   I had given them my resume which detailed my theater and literary experience both in academic and professional settings since the four years I had been out of college.   I was as intimidated as I ever had been.  What I admired most about this actor was his extensive and impressive resume in addition to his obvious talents as a performer. And here we were his asking about me and my work.  

Would I come and work for him - or, more to the point - his new production company Clunes Associates?  I had planned on moving to New York anyway and within a few months I did just that.  I was pleased with myself as I had made my intended move and already had a theatrical project I was involved with.  

But the hard part was yet to come.  Jonathan said that "we" had to have some strong conversations about marketing.   He asked me for my opinion on how to proceed and what obstacles we had to overcome.  I am not known for mincing words when asked for my opinion.  I don't strive to be mean or hurt (usually) and here I had to be blunt - and I was scared I would get kicked out of the opinion.  

"Well, I see two major obstacles," I ventured, somewhat reluctantly.

Jonathan was a little impatient at that.  He didn't like to chase or prod.  Spit it out, already.

"The first obstacle is trying to explain to people what Reader's Theater is and convince them it's exciting to watch."   Jonathan smiled and nodded.

"The second issue, I think, is getting the word out there that you are, like, still alive as you have been out of the public eye for quite a long time."  Much to my relief, he smiled rather broadly at my honesty.  

Later when we went out to dinner, I apologized if I hurt his feelings.  "Oh no no, stop that!" he said, impatiently.  "We need to know what we are up against."

Jonathan later told me that he had problems finding people enthusiastic about his wanting to get back into the business with this idea of reader's theater AND willing to debate with him on the merits of this, that and the other thing.  In other words, not be a "yes" man.  If you were someone constantly in awe of Jonathan and thought everything he did was wonderful and right, you would not last in his employ.   He came out and told me he appreciated people who were willing to be confrontational with him over material he was working on.  I assured him that I had no trouble with being confrontational.  I also told him that I admired him as an actor, couldn't wait see what he did with this reader's theater program but I was not a star-struck person.  The fact that I admired his talents didn't mean that everything that came out of his mouth was golden.   I remember he smiled and winked at me.    Whew, I was lucky I could just be myself and not blow this deal where I was now living in New York City and involved in a theater project just getting off the ground.


In my relatively short life (28) I had already collaborated with others on a variety of stage works, in addition to accepting commissions to write plays commemorating a significant event for civic and religious groups in the Mid-Atlantic area.  Naturally, I was a little intimidated at the prospect of working on a collaboration with an actor I admired and whose professional and life experience greatly exceeded my own.


JONATHAN FRID'S FOOLS AND FIENDS was indeed a joint effort.  What I came to appreciate about Jonathan was the fact he respected the opinion of those whose background was not nearly as accomplished as his own.  He asked me, Will McKinley and Mary O'Leary to vote on the stories that we felt should be included in the final "cut" of the one-man reader's theater program.  We did and that became the show.  My task was to write narrative that would tie together the stories.  The way this final worked was that I would write narrative that was really more conceptual than in Jonathan's actual voice.  He would take what I wrote, pick out what he wanted, write a bit of it, I would take that and flesh it out more using what he wrote and then fine-tune it.  This took lots of time.  I easily was putting in 25-30 hours a week at Jonathan's apartment and my own work space at home at this particular task.   I was contracted to be a ghostwriter meaning my name would not appear on any copy.  


The number one frustrating trait of Jonathan's was the constant changing of his mind.  There were days I thought I would take the gas pipe after having spent hours and hours working on a narrative we agreed the day before would go a certain way - only to discover he had completely changed his mind about the tact he wanted to take.  Then he would forget that he had said this, that and the other.  To keep things on track, we agreed to audiotape our work sessions.  This helped for me to review later what we had talked about, agreed on and what he ultimately wanted to do.  This also prevented him from denying that he ever said something when, in fact, he did.  His memory was never good and in these work sessions I came to realize that he had some form of dyslexia.  This realization brought back memories of watching "Dark Shadows" and hearing Jonathan as Barnabas say "This night must go nothing wrong" (or something like that).   Ah, that explains it, I thought.


Jonathan hyper-focused which could be mentally exhausting for me as he went over and over the same material, getting everything he could out of it.  What kept it all pleasant (and me sane) was the side-tracking that went on.   It was during these "asides" that I learned how much we had in common despite our age difference: a love of old movies, political satire, Carol Burnett, Ruth Draper, Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn (he loved redheads), Bette Midler, rooting for the underdog in life, history - quite a bit to talk about.


Something we would be working on would remind him of one thing, we would start talking about that which would lead to another topic and so on.  



Jonathan was a generous employer and while with him working on a project, he wouldn't let you pay for a meal.  You had to be on time, prepared, and focused.  But the sometimes grueling schedule of working on the development and fine-tuning of a performance project was made bearable by Jonathan's personality and humor.  We shared the exact same sense of humor and view of life.  He was so funny I came to describe him to people as one of the funniest people I've ever known in my life.  Some twenty years later, this is still true.



While a project was being finalized for performance, it was not unusual for me to be scheduled to spend all my days at Jonathan's apartment.  He asked that I do this.  I kept a graveyard shift, word processing job at a large law firm in lower Manhattan.  He had me come to his place at 8:30 a.m. after work, have me sleep in his bedroom until 2 p.m. while he worked in his office/living room and ran errands.  I would wake up to whatever he fixed for me, work for about four or six hours, have dinner and I would go home to shower and change for work - and it would all start over again the next day.    This schedule could go on for weeks with the agreement weekends were usually free.


Well, not entirely free.  It was on weekends during 1986-1988 that I worked on marketing proposals and direct-marketing letters for Jonathan's manager and business partner, Mary O'Leary.   We even went to weekend conferences hosted by organizations that brought together programmers from nationwide and regional colleges, universities and theaters.  We also developed acting workshop programs that Jonathan would conduct.  That was something I worked on with Mary, who held a degree in Theater Education and then, obviously with Jonathan too.


Then something happened to shake everything up.  Jonathan was asked to read for the role of Jonathan Brewster in "ARSENIC AND OLD LACE."  This particular production was on Broadway in 1986 starring Jean Stapleton and Marion Ross as the crazy sisters.  Jonathan initially resisted the offer because he wanted to focus on the one-man show but fortunately Mary talked him into it, citing that it was a good business move.  The Broadway tour of this production would take him across the country, garner press attention and let the public know that he was alive and relevant.  If we were going to make a go of the one-man show, we needed to sell it and sell him.  We had been buoyed by the initial response to Jonathan while attending the conferences and selling the show to programmers.  A high profile Broadway tour of a popular play would be just what we had been looking for.


So, just before Christmas, Jonathan Frid would step out on a Broadway stage for the first time in over twenty years, to conclude the remaining two week run before commencing the Broadway tour.


What this meant was finalizing the FOOLS AND FIENDS script and put it aside for the time being.  I was then hired to run lines with Jonathan every night (after his day rehearsals) for about three weeks.  To learn lines, he would have me be the character (and he wanted me to act the character) and respond in kind.  He had me do this for his tape recorder in which I would say the line of the character and he would mouth the words to leave time for him to respond when he was listening to the recorder by himself.  I even went with him to the rehearsals at the theater to take notes and sometimes run the lines with him and Larry Storch, occasionally with Jean Stapleton.  



Jonathan and Larry Storch had very different theatrical backgrounds.  Storch had an innate sense of timing and Jonathan did not trust his sense of timing.  There is a scene in the play where the Storch and Jonathan characters are trying to get a body through the window.  Storch's timing was instinctive whereas Jonathan needed to have it literally timed out.  This caused frustrating on Storch's part and he was as patient as possible though sometimes he looked at me and mouthed "HELP!!"  I studied how Storch did this scene in rehearsals and back at Jonathan's apartment we physically rehearsed the scene over and over until he got comfortable with hit.  By this point, I had memorized much of the dialogue in the play and was able to play Storch's character with Jonathan.  He noted that I seemed to have gotten down how Larry did the scene and that these rehearsals would help him get his own timing down.  It did.  


The day he was to open (replacing Abe Vigoda) in the role he went to the theater very early.  He was nervous, I could tell.  I had a beeper for work and Jonathan also used it to contact me. After telling me he didn't need me for the rest of the day (he opened that night) he wound up beeping me several times for this and that and I finally convinced him to just let me stay at the theater.  He was uptight, nervous - and that always manifests itself in his being snappy and overly picky.  I practically hid in the the corner of his dressing room saying nothing while reading the newspaper, Playbill or whatever.  I had written the Playbill copy of his biography which pleased me no end.   He finally told me that my being there made him feel better.  You couldn't prove it by me but, hey, if he felt that way, fine.  I just wanted him to relax and do well.


He asked me (and paid for) to go watch Abe Vigoda twice in the role.  Jonathan himself never saw him play the part and didn't want to.   I don't remember why he wanted me to do that.  It may have been to make a comparison to see how different Jonathan would be in the role.  Jonathan had to be told by the director a few times not to worry about the comedy.  Jonathan didn't see where his character was that funny compared to the hilarious antics surrounding him.  He had to learn to trust the material.   Jonathan asked me to come watch the show a few nights a week (as his guest) and take notes on what I thought of what he was doing.  


In spite of his nerves, Jonathan was great opening night.  He brought flowers (as was his habit) to the leading ladies Jean Stapleton and Marion Ross.   He also got great reviews throughout the tour of the production.  Sometimes he was the only one of the cast who got a good review in a particular city, such as Philadelphia.   He started to relax, fans living in and around New York City came to the stage door and it turned out he had the biggest stage door "business" of all the cast.  I would come and take him home every night in my car.   We would go for a drink at Pete's Tavern.  He still wondered about when he would get back to the one-man shows.  That would never leave his mind.

The cast of ARSENIC AND OLD LACE in a more casual shot.

MORE TO COME.  CHECK BACK TOMORROW.