Monday, May 22, 2006

May 19th post - a day at the beach

I have been offline since Friday morning so I am posting what I wrote in my daily log on each day. Starting with May 19th - -

Mom's 74th Birthday. It is a birthday that she shared with her brother William Herbert Walls, though he had been born a few years earlier. Mom decided some months ago - maybe even late last year - that she would do something nice for herself and book a weekend at the Delaware Seashore National Park at the Indian River Inlet/Marina in downstate Delaware. There are cottages right along the water and that is where we celebrated her birthday on Friday. Mom had invited her relatives (most of whom live downstate) and brought along her best friend Emily Ramsey from Wilmington. I brought my best friend, Kay, along as well since she looks upon Mom as her adopted mother.

Our place had a lovely screened in porch overlooking the inlet. The place was indeed cottage-like, well maintained and sunny. You couldn't want anything else as a guest. I sat on the porch, enjoying the breeze, watching the boaters and fishermen, and made notes on ideas for writing projects I am doing. I tried to not think about the fact I have no job right now and things that need to get done but cost money. I have many prospects and try to focus on that.

I realized something too. I came to understand why I view some things the way I do. I recently read a book on the history of politics in the State of Delaware. Why would that be book? Politics are done very differently here. In this state, if you are in a race for an office and start throwing mud and accusations at your opponent, even if they are true, you will probably lose the election. Delawareans do not like mud throwing done in vindictiveness. Many a political career has been ended because of this misstep. If you are a politician and accuse or raise questions about another's personal life or relationship with a spouse, you will lose the election. People in this state do not think that fair game. There is a long history of politicians who vigorously oppose each other on a Bill and argue long and hard in a debate but go out and go hunting together, even socialize together. It's nothing to attend a high level function and see political rivals having a good time with one another. They will even do favors for each other. This is not to say this never happens anywhere else outside of Delaware but it is more about how things are done here usually than not. We have relatives who were state senators and held a variety of offices throughout the state and they have related the same thing. It can be a good or bad thing depending on which side of the fence you are on morally. Cronyism isn't about those of the same party doing special favors for each other in this state.

I look at that and then my own family. We are a very small family. There are those who have very different interests and personalities but there is hardly ever big arguments and hurt feelings. It doesn't happen. The people in my family are the sort who mind their own business unless you invite them into your business and then they are supportive. I can't think of a single soul in my family who would not help a total stranger in need if they could. They are all genuinely good people with a wicked sense of humor. I hear so many horror stories about families who do not get along or parents who pressure their children into finding a spouse and starting a family.

No one in my family ever pressured me or anyone who was single to find a spouse and have a family. It's one of those things that falls under "it's not your business" to bring such a thing up. They understand that the desire to have a spouse or a family is a very personal thing and not something for others to involve themselves in if only for an opinion. The choice is there to not get married or have children. Not everyone is cut out for one or the other. The only thing my family seem to state an opinion about is having good friends in your life. I more than fit that bill. Readers of this blog are already familiar with my being thankful for having loyal, good friends. Not "yes" men/women but friends who are there for me as I am for them and loyal. If you don't have that in your life at all, then you are in bad shape. That's the one judgment I will make about someone else. If you can't attract people like that in your life . . .well, it's just sad.

How we see family life and problems and how most view politics in Delaware seems to dovetail into my own views on life and politics. Odd.

1 comment:

~Jackie~ said...

Very touching piece, about loyalty, good friends and allowing others their "space". Kudos.

Just want to say how this article sparked a few memories of my own, how different my family is from yours. The good thing is, we can all learn from each other; 'likes' begets 'likes', life reflects one's own inner beingness and what we put out, we receive back.

Thanks for inspiring a few thoughts of my own. ;) Oh and I do hope you find exactly what you are looking for inwardly and outwardly. A job would be wonderful to start with.

~J~