Wednesday, July 12, 2006

OHMIGOD

It is fricking hot! Not just heat wise; the humidity is almost unbearable today. I turned the air conditioner on which is similar to make a trip to the vault to withdraw gold. Delmarva Power rates are ridiculous. The choices you have to make between the fan and the air conditioner. It is really hot now and we're being told we are in for a heat wave over the weekend!

I don't do well in heat. It is immobilizing. I cannot be immobilized right now. Too much crap to do. I am undergoing a mammoth reorganization and restructuring of my living quarters, getting rid of stuff that I have no use for and trying to restructure things so I don't forget about obligations. The financial drought seems to be coming to a bit of an end this month. Nothing steady work wise but work has been coming my way in spurts so as to keep me off the streets and able to eat.

I'm writing every day still and walking, early in the morning if it's hot or later in the evening, at least two miles. I'm digusted with myself and want to get back to the lean and mean me. It can be done, just not overnight.

I made the mistake of watching TV the other night when there was a segment about the war wounded. I saw a man in his twenties in a hospital bed, missing both legs and one arm. He was laying there in bed, crying. God, I felt for him. All war is horrible, but an especially stupid war is harder to take.

I thought about that guy for most of the night and even today. Dad used to say that I took too much on emotionally from the outside world but is anything around us really "outside?" No. The day I can look upon another's misery and not feel for that person is the day I might as well die.

That is, if the heat doesn't get me first.

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