Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Why Things Stay Static for Me

Because I rarely ever finish anything that I start, that's why, at least not personal things and sometimes not even professional things whereby I am the only person involved.

Let me explain. If you hire me to produce something for you - an event, a show or any kind of production - I will have everything planned right down to the inth degree and have back up plans in place too. Everything will be done on time, it will be done correctly and if I have people working with me on the project, I am always in communication with them and know what's going on. Nothing is late, nothing is overlooked.

When it comes to planning for myself it's as if the wire just flew out of the circuit altogether and waves aimlessly about; electric current shoots out of it but nothing comes of the thing.

This has been the bane of my existence all of my life. It is so frustrating. It actually gives me a headache to move forward with a tedious personal task, sometimes to the point where my stomach becomes upset. I have been learning tricks to overcome this obstacle and it has started to pay off but still there is much to do. I will look at something that I need to do and it is as if I am staring at it and nothing conceptual enters through my eyes into my brain. I have no idea where to begin: I have no idea how to start and continue the process.

I can do it for other people, but I cannot do it for me.

How weird is that? I am reading books on organizing tips and other tools for ADHD people so that I can complete tedious tasks and be more organized so as not to lose opportunities because I am so personally disorganized.

Why can I be together in work situation but not personally? This is an answer I still seek.

5 comments:

Bruce said...

Does this include answering emails?

;-)

RebJam said...

oh no he didn't. . .hey what are you doing to that picture i sent you. . it better not end up somewhere seedy baby. .

Alondra said...

I wonder if you could look at a project of your own as if you were doing it for someone else. Give yourself a deadline. Maybe you're easier on yourself than someone else would be who was paying you for the project you're doing for them. Maybe plot out just how much you want to do in a day, and do only that much, pace yourself on it. I've been this way too about things I'm doing for myself such as crocheting an afghan, starting but not finishing. But the sense of accomplishment when you have finished it really feels good, and well worth the effort.

Alondra

Annie Ruth said...

hi Nancy,

like you, I find it so hard to do something that I don't love to do.

This seems to be becoming more true as I get older.

But, as we know, there's stuff that we MUST do which we definitely don't love, don't even like, and/or actively dislike.

For example, I'm thinking of the fact that I have to go to the Registry of Motor Vehicles this month to re-register my car----and knowing me, I'll wait until the last day of the month to do it which will make the whole experience so much more awful because by then I'll be all stressed out about it as well as dreading the time-waster that such tasks are

: P

but I find it helpful to either think about how the task at hand fits into something I *do* love to do (as an example: I love to drive to the beach with my dog, and I can't do that if I don't have a registered car - you get the idea....) and that usually gets me through the unpleasant and/or boring task.

Or, another thing I do is to plan some kind of reward after the heinous task is completed, even if the reward is just a cup of tea, or watching a movie that I really love, or driving to the beach with the dog.

Anyway, I understand what you are saying, and maybe you'll find my tricks might work for you

take care of you,
Annie

Brandon Collins said...

Nancy,

I TOTALLY get what you mean. I can't ever seem to finish things for myself, whereas when I am doing it for someone else I hop right on it.

An idea struck me as I was reading your blog--

Maybe we can't complete things for ourselves because our expectations are always changing. When completing something for someone else, you know what their expectations are, and while they may change, they most likely will not once the projec thas begun.

When I'm writing a story, I expect something when I start. Then when I get a quarter or a halfway through, if I leave it and come back to it a week later, my expectations have changed so greatly that I either hate what I have written or I completely abandon it all together.

Deadlines don't work for me. No, let me correct that. They DO work for me, but only sometimes. It depends largely on what the project is, for which I am setting a deadline.

Just some thoughts....