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Thursday, May 17, 2007

March of Death in May

For whatever reason, May has been designated as "the death month" in my family. On May 16th, my first great love, Mickey Shultz, was born in 1958. We were engaged during our first year of college but I got cold feet. He had other pressing issues too that needed to be dealt with. In short: we both loved each other but knew it would not work. At least not at that moment. And he did not want to wait. I didn't want him to wait. When the idea of getting married to someone gives you recurring nightmares, it's probably not a good idea to pursue getting married. That's the way it was for me back in those days.

Mickey died in June of 1992. Too much living packed into a short period of time.

Today, May 17th, my uncle Herb died suddenly and two days before the birthday he shared with his sister (and my mother) Catherine though they were born years apart.

On May 18th, my father died while Mom and I each held one of his hands.

Depressing? It was for awhile the whole business of losing two very important people in my life in May. But I look at death in another way nowadays. The crossing over concept is very real to me. I believe in the afterlife and that's where we go when we die. The quality of "life" level in this other dimension is determined by your spiritual level on this plane. If you are totally lacking in spirituality, you will eventually gain it in the afterlife though it will take some time.

I also believe pets go into the afterlife. Why? I suppose it is the strong bond we have with certain animals; it can almost inexplicable the attachment we humans can have to a dog, a cat or some other kind of pet with whom we have a strong interaction with. I am not one of these people who look upon my pets as my "children" - they are what they are - animals. Yet my feeling for them is strong and I miss them when I am away for a protracted period of time. They clearly missed me when I return. If anyone had ever told me that cats would be glad to see me come home from a trip and follow me all over the house, I never would have believed it until I got this lot. They are unbelievable.

Their sweet nature and being something else besides human enables me to engage in more introspection and wondering about life and death, that moment when we cross over to another world, so different from our own.

I only hope heaven means not having to clean the cat litter.

Or having a month's worth of memories losing loved ones.

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