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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I and Oprah have one thing in common . .

We both have best friends with whom we share a strong bond.

If you have been following the entertainment headlines, you know that Oprah's friendship with Gloria King is being rumored as a sexual one.

Why? Because they are close.

See, in our society, there is the belief that the only kind of intimacy that counts is a sexual one.


There are plenty of couples of both orientations who can have great sex together but do not get along. They do not understand each other. They do not have a good relationhship.

So sexual intimacy doesn't always mean emotional intimacy; No more than emotional intimacy dictates that sex will follow or is even a possibility. I have no physical attraction to women though I think it is ideal is to have BOTH physical and emotional intimacy with someone. However, that does not exclude ALSO having friends with whom I bond, some more than others for whatever "otherworldly" reason.

Oprah responded to the gay rumours saying that if she and her friend were, in fact, gay, they would say so as there is nothing wrong with being gay and in a relationship. But the reason it is rumored that Oprah might be gay is because she is into her 40s, independent-minded and not married. I don't think she has ever been married or at least not yet.

The same society that embraces the wonders and flexibility technology offers cannot get their mind around the fact there are many kinds of important relationships the soul can have with another another. The sort of friendship you can have with another person with whom you can sit in a car for a long period of time and no one feel there must be some conversation going or the friend who really doesn't mind coming to assist when you are out of sorts is a relationship to be wished for. I used to kid some of my extreme loner friends that they needed more than one friendship in his/her life so he/she could go and complain to someone else about their usual constant companion.

But it's really more than that, of course. Just as it feels surreal to be in nature and feel a part of it, the seamlessness of a valued friendship where the bond has become intuitive in nature is one of life's pure joys. Why it must be defined as being this way or that way and in such narrow parameters reminds us just how far we have yet to go in understanding the bounty of the human spirit and experience.

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